Boys too are sexually abused

We know that approximately one out of six of all American boys are sexually molested by the time they reach 18 years of age. There is no reason to believe that there will be any less number of boys molested in India. We do not know how many of these boys are molested by sisters, teachers, baby-sitters and others in position of authority.

First, is it true? Can boys be molested? Can they be victims in the hands of not only men, but women too? The answer to these questions is an absolute “Yes!” Yes, it’s true, males are molested too. Yes, it’s true that boys are some times molested by perfect strangers. However, vast majority of boys, who are molested are victimized by some on they know. Perhaps someone they trust very much. Someone in position of authority. They are also molested by mothers, sisters, aunts, baby-sitters, teachers, nuns, music instructors, principals, school counselors, neighbours. So if boys are being molested by all of these kinds of people, why doesn’t the public hear more about this? When a female victim is sensationalized in media, then who would be curious to know about male victims?

It is estimated that only 10% of molested boys ever make such reports. And even when they do, society tell boys that they should be ‘tough’ and solve problems on their own instead of complaining like a girl. Why don’t boys report when they are sexually abused? Boys are frequently threatened by the perpetrators that speaking up will lead to further violence for themselves and/or others. If the boy has an early sexual experience with an older female they are told they are ‘lucky’. How embarrassing for a male to admit he has been molested by his sister, neighbour, teacher, baby-sitter!

The unwillingness of boys to report when they’ve been sexually victimized is even greater when the perpetrator is a sister, teacher, baby-sitter, aunt, neighbours and/or someone in authority. Bonding with, trusting and learning from our elders is an essential survival mechanism well-developed in modern day humans. We put our faith in the hands of someone in authority. At least until we learn there is a reason to question the facts which we were fed.

They betrayed because these are the ones in life that are expected to protect us the most. Betrayal is a very difficult event to recover from. Betrayal leaves the victim with a sense of guilt. A sense that they "should have known better.” A sense that they are at fault. In fact, these exact messages are frequently fed to the victim by the perpetrator. "You know you wanted it. ""You enjoyed it. ""I don't do this with others. You're so special that you made me do it!"These are some of the words used by perpetrators to defend their actions. And the rest of the damage is done by the people who disbelieve the victim.

On top of all this is the problem of being believed if one did speak up. Who would believe them? Sisters, teachers, baby-sitters and others in authority, are commonly well-known, well-respected, ‘trusted’ individual of the society. Who is going to believe a child over these people? Pressure exerted by radical feminists, the society has helplessly accepted that women are always victims and men are always the culprit. Under the multitude of conditions addressed above, who would want to speak up? Who would want to admit they have been sexually abused?

Teach children ways to increase their safety. Let them know that if they are sexually abused its okay to report it. That they will be believed whoever the perpetrator is. Parents must understand that children are frequently exposed to sexually explicit pictures/videos, which will provoke their sexual tendencies even when they are young. Boys are sexually vulnerable particularly when they are left alone with someone parents believe will be responsible. Excessive trust on someone like elder sister, teachers, baby-sitters, aunts, neighbours could do an irreparable emotional damage to your child. If you don’t hear news of boys been sexually molested that does not mean it is not happening or it could never happen to your child.

Especially in India, a female is over-protected and a male is left alone to take care of himself. Many families consider it normal and conventional to leave their male child in under-garments in the house. Such malignant attitude toward male child has never been criticized. Why? It is believed that only and only females have dignity and modesty, males don’t. Such anti-male attitude, sadly, has never been criticized by anybody because of the fact that in India, women are revered and ironically still it is called a male-dominated society. We know that a male-child is much more sexually vulnerable than a female-child because females reach puberty much early than males, but there is hardly anybody out there who is really concerned of protecting male-child.       

Think about it.

8:26 AM - Saturday, October 28, 2006