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Divorce in IndiaIt is funny that in India, divorce is perceived differently by different people. Some believe that the actual victims of divorce are the children. Some believe that when it becomes impossible to resolve certain incompatibility, divorce makes sense to allow both to live life happily with somebody they could find after divorce. The inability of the couple to resolve petty differences is usually blamed on our so-called dogmatic culture. In a typical divorce there is much more than what meets the eye. There are many legal and social implications in a divorce, which are often ignored by married and single people.
Contrary to what people are told to believe, it is the husband who stands to lose in a divorce proceedings. How? The legal provisions relating to marriage and divorce are composed several decades ago. It was the time when the society was progressing toward independence and prosperity. The cultural values respected then has now become superfluous and a bunch of dogmatic principles that are perceived as violating so-called ‘rights’ of certain people in the society. The paradigm shift in the culture can best be represented by the movies that were made and the songs that were written. The heroine would stand a yard away from the hero and coyly express her love and the hero would sing songs of praise of her beauty. Now the movies that are made show the reality where the heroine thinks that the hero is gay if he does not grope her. And the dressing of the heroine is, well, indescribable. Obscenity is been made subjective and the one who does not mind obscenity gets the chance to voice their opinions publicly. People might have accepted this change or may not want to voice their outrage, but the society at large stubbornly believes that woman should be protected and provided by men. How much ever a woman progresses and excels, it is believed that it is always the obligation of the man to protect and provide his wife. This is a classic example of how patriarchy lives in our so-called male dominated society. Women’s groups criticized patriarchy and initiated women empowerment program in the country. We have heard loads about women liberation, emancipation and independence. We have seen women obnoxiously bragging about their achievements in the so-called male-dominated society. We have read articles on how women have concealed the generosity of the society toward women to prove their deluded independence. Male-bashing articles written by arrogant and conceited women are published to create an anti-male environment in the society. All man-made cultures are criticized as oppressive but when it comes to men’s obligation toward women, women just have to say that they are women to get what they want men to do. Nothing more. When it comes to divorce, patriarchy dictates the laws as well as the court decisions. How much ever a woman becomes independent, at the time of divorce, she never misses an opportunity to pose as an ‘Ablaa Naari’ and reminds the court of the man’s obligation toward a woman. Not many people realize that this obligation forced upon men calling it women’s so-called rights is gross discrimination against men. If yesterday’s culture is perceived as oppressive to women and can even denounce it, why can’t men object on this violation of their rights during divorce when the court forcefully burdens him with unnecessary and invalid obligation toward their ex-wife? When women are also independently working, why is it the husband’s responsibility to protect and provide a woman with whom the relationship has been severed legally? Whom are these outdated laws trying to please? Working women who is cunningly posing as ‘Ablaa naari’ or the ignorant society, who apparently feels exalted in helping a woman by rebuffing men’s basic rights? Money does not grow on trees. The hapless husband is made to pay alimony and maintenance to his ex-wife, a wife who is no longer a family member. Is there any obligation of women toward her ex-husband? If anybody even conceives obligations of women toward her ex-husband, how reasonable and valid it may sound but it will always been considered as discrimination against women. But alimony and maintenance paid to ex-wife, now an outsider is not considered violation of men’s rights. If there is a child, the child custody invariably goes to the wife. In rare cases the wife will not slander about her husband to their child. The love of the father for his child has never been respected nor recognized by anybody in this so-called male dominated society, which is proving to be a blessing for women and inexplicable damage to the child’s emotions to lose his/her father. Why? If the society is male-dominated as is broadcasted, then why working women are in a position to freely demand alimony and maintenance from her husband, which can only be described as a pretentious freeloaders posing as a victim and violating men’s rights. What is really unbelievable is that men’s rights are perceived as discrimination against women. If laws are amended where working women will not be given alimony and maintenance upholding the basic rights of men, women will aggressively object calling it as discrimination to women. Isn’t it scary that women are thinking that men’s rights are discrimination to women? These same women are now holding top Government position having the power to enact/amend laws to violate men’s rights calling it as women’s rights. It is now clearer that women empowerment is been made a zero-sum game. Women rights are maintained at the expense of men’s rights. Men must lose for women to win. Some people believe that if women empowerment is allowed to progress in its direction, the basic foundation of the society holding every citizen together in peace and harmony will collapse. Women empowerment program has outlived its purpose and the continuity will prove fatal for the whole country in the coming future. As long as women’s so-called rights, which in the true sense can’t be called rights, are approved, men’s rights will continue to get violated. There will be no end to discrimination against men if women empowerment is not stopped. It is important to note that divorce rates are increasing manifold because of incompatibility from intolerance, impatience, greed, lust and desire to dominate. It is always the husband who loses in divorce in India, because a man has to lose for a woman to win. Our old-fashioned mindset is not creating an environment where both the genders are in a position to win. What will it take to create an environment for both genders to win? Acceptance of reality and common sense or holding on to outdated patriarchic culture of protecting and providing women. 10:13 AM - Monday, January 29, 2007
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Description "Revolution" is the survival kit for the people of India. Only a Rebel can bring about a "Revolution" in India now. 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