Effect of Divorce on Indian Men:

The effects of divorce differ by situation and personal circumstance and may be different for men and women.

Most dangerous stage for men is, waiting for divorce (maximum crime of spouse murder/suicide occurred) than after divorce. as marriage disputes in India, irrespective the man is right or wrong ,they had been abused, blackmailed, treated as Free ATM machine in front of society/police/court every where. In India marriage disputes had been termed as crime for men, not for women. Awaiting for divorce and the suicide stastics of crime bure report reflects the same.

Married men average suicide in the rang of 56000 vs married women 29000.
Divorced men vs divorced women suicide: 580:590.

• Crime Bure data 2005 : Married Men Sucide : 52k vs Married Women Sucide 28K.Still there is no LAW to Protect Men why?
• • 2006 Crime Bure Data : Married Men Sucide:55452 vs. Married Women Sucide:29869.
• • 2007 Crime Bure Data : Married Men Sucide:57593 vs. Married Women Sucide:30064.

After divorce the men’s life became more comfortable or worse, it depends purely on how troublesome was his marriage, what type of Divorce litigations he faced.

Perception shift:

Till 1990 or up to 2000, the basic perceptions were, a divorced woman is means she is a liberated women and a divorced men means he is a wife beater/abuser, thanks to special law 498A in 1983.

But 2000 onwards the same got changed and the society slowly accepted that A divorced men also can be victims of Domestic violence in terms of finciancial abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse , physical abuse and the same reflects in the Suicide stastics of Men vs Women. As the divorce rate will increase more and more the same perception change will increase more, some one like it or hate it that is the fact of irony.

Going through a divorce is never easy for anybody; however, there are certain effects of a failed marriage that occurs more often with men, than with women. When a marriage is about to be dissolved, emotions often runs high, and a lot of important financial decisions have to be made.
This is almost always a recipe for disaster. As a general rule: Never mix emotions and finances, or emotions and legal matters.

Effect of Divorce on Indian Men:

1. Finciancial effect: Huge loss irrespective the men is right or wrong.
2. Government support: Due to no men welfare ministry and no shelter homes, no one cares for men.
3. Emotional effect: Depend on type of trouble he faced, type of marriage they have, time spend together, child involved or not and the last think the type of divorce man got.
4. Loss of child access: Major problem and maximum divorced men suicide related to that.
5. Social effect: It is not exactly loss, his the social and networking circle got changed, attract towards more unclear family instead of joint family.
6. Future effect: Suicide after divorce: since 2004 it is decreasing.
7. JOB satisfactions: Get better and able to concentrate more on Professional front.

Personnel life:

1. Enjoy their work place much better than previous.
2. Spend more money for their self use/fun/enjoy/travel/satisfactions of life.
3. Get less angry for small issue.
4. Became less expected in life.
5. 90% men got remarried with in less than 3 years.

With the present set up , when the country like USA , who had more than 50% divorce, their child taken the initiative for marriage more workable and the divorce rate is reducing, the country like India and Asian country divorce is increasing and that is the hard reality, as we always think the rivers other side is better than our side.

Here are some of the experiences of men and women in divorce.

Situation in USA:

http://www.mediate.com/articles/Psych.cfm

Fifty percent of all children are children of divorce. Twenty-eight percent of all children are born of never married parents. Divorce is expensive. Aid for Dependent Children (AFDC) resources are drained by the needs of divorced and single parent families; including the cost of collecting child support.

For women:

1. Women initiate divorce twice as often as men
2. 90% of divorced mothers have custody of their children (even if they did not receive it in court)
3. 60% of people under poverty guidelines are divorced women and children
4. Single mothers support up to four children on an average after-tax annual income of $12,200
5. 65% divorced mothers receive no child support (figure based on all children who could be eligible, including never-married parents, when fathers have custody, and parents without court orders); 75% receive court-ordered child support (and rising since inception of uniform child support guidelines, mandatory garnishment and license renewal suspension)
6. After divorce, women experience less stress and better adjustment in general than do men. The reasons for this are that (1) women are more likely to notice marital problems and to feel relief when such problems end, (2) women are more likely than men to rely on social support systems and help from others, and (3) women are more likely to experience an increase in self-esteem when they divorce and add new roles to their lives.
7. Women who work and place their children in child care experience a greater stigma than men in the same position. Men in the same position often attract support and compassion.

For men:

1. Men are usually confronted with greater emotional adjustment problems than women. The reasons for this are related to the loss of intimacy, the loss of social connection, reduced finances, and the common interruption of the parental role.
2. Men remarry more quickly than women.
3. As compared to “deadbeat dads,” men who have shared parenting (joint legal custody), ample time with their children, and an understanding of and direct responsibility for activities and expenses of children stay involved in their children’s lives and are in greater compliance with child support obligations. There is also a greater satisfaction with child support amount when negotiated in mediation. Budgets are prepared, and responsibility divided in a way that parents understand.
4. Men are initially more negative about divorce than women and devote more energy in attempting to salvage the marriage.

With the learning from USA social impact, our aim and action as a commando of SIF movement should be to avoid the nasty divorce and promote more shared parenting, as though the society had more or less accepted the divorced men and women in open heart, but still there is some discrimination towards the divorced child.

If divorce is unavoidable, try to make the legal and financial matters strictly apart from the emotional matters, even if it tears you up inside, the alternative is a prolonged, expensive battle, that in many cases will make long lasting emotional scars on both sides, and prevent chances of a future reconciliation.

Statistically up to 15% of all divorcees end up reconciling with their former spouses, this figure could be higher if the divorce was handled in a friendly or even in a business-like manner.
Most important think is need to make the Divorce related law, less personal money earning business and less attractive and gender neutral policy/law, or be ready to increase the divorce rate and it is good or bad only future child will give the answers.

“Divorce is not the solution to a troubled marriage; but Indian men have very less choice, as there is no men well fare ministry who can think about them.

Thanks to India’s more than half dozens anti-male law and multiple litigations like 498A,DVact,CRPC125,Section24, Section18, biased adultrity LAW and lot more are on the way very soon!!! ”

This is called the present Justice system in India and equal right in India, made by congress Government.

For a wife even adultrity also is not a crime (it is a rewarding option and free money earning business for the whole life), but for a man even an allegation of “Name-calling” is crime and not only the man, his mother/sister/age-old father also can be put behind the bar under 498A or DV act.

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

A Hyderabad-based women's NGO joins hands with its male counterparts against the Shave India Campaign

Bollywood hotties Mugdha Godse, Neha Dhupia and Minissha Lamba are urging women to encourage their men to get rid of facial hair. But, here's good news for those men fed up with "derogatory" advertisements prodding them to shave. The fairer sex supports the stubble too.

After men-only NGOs raised their voice against the new campaign of Gillette, a multi-national brand of safety razors, which has launched a tirade against facial hair, a Hyderabad-based NGO, All India Forgotten Women's Association (AIFWA), has also join hands with its male counterparts. 

Gillette, a brand owned by Procter and Gamble (P&G), launched a Women Against Lazy Stubble (WALS) advertisement featuring Bollywood hotties urging women to encourage their men to get rid of facial hair. Men grow stubble just out of their laziness, the campaign said.

According to the NGO, the advertisement is derogatory and has the tendency to create  family disharmony.

"The Shave India Campaign is all about male bashing. Showing men in a poor light has become a corporate
gimmick," said Uma Challa, president, AIFWA.

The NGO has asked all memebers to shun Gillette products to mark its protest against the company. Besides, it has invited other like-minded people to join the cause and boycott the company till an apology is furnished.

"A man -- be it husband, father, brother or son -- play an important role in the family. And this is not because of their preference to shave or not to shave. Shaving has nothing to do with the relationship and being lazy," she said.

Challa also informed that her husband Kiranam Chatti, who is a scientist, also did not shave on December 7 that was observed by India Men Welfare Association (AIMWA)  as National Stubble Day.

While AIFWA  insisted upon the vital role of men in a family environment, it is also planning to make it a nationwide campaign. Its website while severely criticising P&G for the advertisement called the idea vile, anti-male, loony stunt. "If P&G doesn't hesitate to indulge in demeaning our men, they shouldn't expect women to refrain from demeaning P&G either," read the website.

"The advertisement says "Women on Warpath" against their lazy husband because they are not shaving everyday. It's a ridiculous even to think," said Uma.

This is not all. To protest the Gillette advertisement AIMWA has launched another campaign "Refund for Razors", where all the members will send their used Gillette razors to the company. "We are boycotting all Proctor & Gamble (P&G) products and our members are enthusiastically following it," said Virag Dhulia, founder member of AIMWA.   

"With other social activists  joining our campaign we have proved that the advertisement is against our basic motto of promoting harmony in a family. No corporate body can promote Indian women to go on a "warpath" just because their husbands are not shaving every day. Moreover, no one has the right to call us lazy  over such thing," said Swarup Sarkar, coordinator, Save Family Foundation (SFF), who is spearheading the movement against Gillette's promotional feature.

Also read: SOS: Save our stubble

Uma Challa writes on her blog

I, as a human being, empathise with the plight of the modern day man, who is expected to be nothing less than perfect in order to be spared of ridicule or hatred in the society. Present day women always have so many excuses for behaving the way they do, and are always talking about what they want. But now that male-bashing is promoted as a laudable pursuit by selfish companies like P&G and there is no price for being pig-headed and unfair, they really don't see anything wrong in dictating terms to men. Yes, guys, this is what the flakes want. The verdict is finally out.

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

An ad campaign that prods men to shave has made members of a men-only NGO pull at their hair
 
'Mooch nahi to kuch nahi'. Indian men, traditionally, grow up believing moustache is the most potent symbol of masculinity. In fact, shaving off the moustache is considered inauspicious even by Hindus, especially in north India.



However, a new campaign by a multi-national brand of safety razors has launched a tirade against facial hair that "communicates a heroic image of the independent, willing and able to do manly things".

Roger Federer

Rahul Dravid

Tiger Woods

Gillette, a brand owned by Procter and Gamble, launched a Women Against Lazy Stubble (WALS) advertisement featuring Bollywood hotties Mugdha Godse, Neha Dhupia and Minissha Lamba urging women to encourage their men to get rid of facial hair. Men grow stubble just out of their laziness, the campaign said.

Not everybody is amused. "The advertisement is derogatory and tantamount to domestic violence against men," said Swarup Sarkar, coordinator of the NGO Save Family Foundation (SFF), who is spearheading the movement against Gillette's promotional feature.

Another NGO affiliated to SFF, All India Men's Welfare Association (AIMWA), celebrated December 7 as the National Stubble Day and has sought a public apology from the company. "We want Gillette to withdraw the advertisement and furnish an apology in all national dailies. The advertisement is sexist in nature and calls men lazy for not shaving everyday," said Virag Dhulia, founding member of AIMWA from Bangalore.

AIMWA has also sought an apology from the brand ambassadors of the advertisement campaign, Bollywood stars Mugdha Godse, Minnisha Lamba and Neha Dhupia, for endorsing it. "A company has decided to humiliate men for not shaving everyday. Tomorrow it will be for some other reason. Such campaigns basically target individual choice and freedom. We need to uproot this menace," said Dhulia.

According to the data provided by SFF and AIMWA, more than 3000 men from all over the country have joined the protest campaign and followed the National Stubble Day. "The number is increasing by the day and we are informing our members across the world to lend their support to the protest," said Sarkar. "Corporates, by resorting to such stupid advertisements, are promoting disharmony in family life. They portray all men in a derogatory manner. Shaving should be a natural choice for men and it has nothing to do with them being lazy," he added.

 

Take your pick: The primitive man did not shave and what if Gillette brand ambassadors would have kept the stubble

Dhulia added the protest will continue till the advertisements are discontinued and the NGO might take legal recourse, if the company fails to address their demands. "The Gillette website promotes the campaign by using a tagline called Women on War Path. What kind of language is this? They are using words and phrases to pull down men," he said.

Target Practice
The message that Women Against Lazy Stubble intends to spread among men are:
Till men don't shave, they won't co-operate.
Now that the comfort of Gillette Mach 3 is affordable, there are no more excuses to not be shaving.
If men don't shave, they shouldn't expect women to groom themselves either.

3000
Number of men reportedly against the Gillette campaign

The others who erred

SFF and AIMWA have earlier raised their voices too against corporate houses for presenting men in a derogatory way. "Earlier Kitply, ICICI Lombard and Hindustan Lever had used bad language against men while promoting their products. In an advertisement used by ICICI Lombard, a wife was shown calling her husband a fool for not buying a particular insurance policy. The company discontinued the ad after we protested," said Swarup Sarkar of Save Family Foundation. A similar complaint was registered against Hindustan Level for promoting Ponds cold cream where the advertisement suggested if a woman uses the cream it will not only help her get rid of facial spots but also domestic violence.

Evolution will do away with debate and stubble

Latest research has suggested that organs as well as physical features that humans don't put to use daily may go away in coming generations due to evolutionary pressure. Big daddy of evolutionary sciences Charles Darwin had argued that humans carry some organs (like the tail bone, ear pinna etc) that are evidence of evolution and represent a function that was once necessary for survival, but over the time with the growth of a species these were rendered useless. Taking forward his theory, scientists in the UK had said that hair that was once necessary to keep humans warm in the early stages of evolution, will go away eventually as the species has now found alternative ways for that function. So, practically they predicted that future humans would be born without body hair. The debate over the stubble would perhaps die a natural death.

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

• ICICI Insurence : Openly term the Husband as Stupid by wife for not taking ICICI Insurence. It is a verbal and economical abuse agisnt Men. ( Ads withdran)

• Ponds : Promote the women to lie and term Husbands as wife beaters and say will donate "UNIFAME" 2 rupees for every Purchase of Ponds Cream. Till date no money or donations they have done for Men well fare.Golden Pond's makes waves with ad ( Ads withdran)

• Kitply Promote Domestic Violence: Wife Slap Husband ( Youtube Viedo).This is a very derogatory commercial that promotes physical, emotional and financial abuse against men. They may be considering it as some sort of a joke, but we would like to remind that violence is not funny be it against a man or a woman. ( Ads withdran)
• Wheel: There is an ad that shows the women of "National no pasina commission"  (hypothetical name) beating Men because the wives are not comfortable with the ordinary washing powder.This is a clear promotion of Domestic violence of Physical, emotional, economical and verbal abuse.

• Men - victims of Domestic violence

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

What is the difference between marketing and sales?

This is a very basic question every marketing or sales guy face at college level and interview, but due to their regular work pressure maximum time forgets to refresh the same as basic knowledge and leads to confuse directions and suffer the business growth.

Without marketing we would not have prospects or leads to follow up with, but yet without a good sales technique and strategy our low closing rate may depress us.

Remember the key to success for any business growth lie balance in marketing and sales activity.

Marketing is everything that we do to reach and persuade prospects/enquiry. The sales process is everything that we do to close the prospects/enquiry and get a signed agreement or contract. Both are necessities to the success of a business. We cannot do without either process. By strategically combining both efforts we will experience a successful amount of business growth.

Your marketing will consist of the measures you use to reach and persuade your prospects that you are the company for them. It's the message that prepares the prospect for the sales. It consists of advertising, public relations, brand marketing, viral marketing, and direct mail.

The sales process consists of interpersonal interaction. It is often done by a one-on-one meeting, calls, and networking. It's anything that engages you with the prospect or customer on a personal level rather than at a distance.

Your marketing efforts begin the process of the eight contacts that studies show it takes to move a prospect or potential client to the close of the sale. If marketing is done effectively you can begin to move that prospect from a cold to a warm lead. When the prospect hits the warm" level it's much easier for the sales professional to close the sale.

There are many definitions of marketing. The better definitions are focused upon customer orientation and satisfaction of customer needs

Marketing is the social process by which individuals and groups obtain what they need and want through creating and exchanging products and value with others

Kotler.

Marketing is the management process that identifies, anticipates and satisfies customer requirements profitably -

The Chartered Institute of Marketing (CIM).

The right product, in the right place, at the right time, at the right price -

Adcock.

Marketing is essentially about marshalling the resources of an organization so that they meet the changing needs of the customer on whom the organization depends -

Palmer.

Marketing is the process whereby society, to supply its consumption needs, evolves distributive systems composed of participants, who, interacting under constraints - technical (economic) and ethical (social) - create the transactions or flows which resolve market separations and result in exchange and consumption.

Bartles.

The marketing concept is a philosophy. It makes the customer, and the satisfaction of his or her needs, the focal point of all business activities. It is driven by senior managers, passionate about delighting their customers.

Marketing is not only much broader than selling, it is not a specialized activity at all It encompasses the entire business. It is the whole business seen from the point of view of the final result, that is, from the customer's point of view. Concern and responsibility for marketing must therefore permeate all areas of the enterprise.

Drucker.

This customer focused philosophy is known as the 'marketing concept'. The marketing concept is a philosophy, not a system of marketing or an organizational structure. It is founded on the belief that profitable sales and satisfactory returns on investment can only be achieved by identifying, anticipating and satisfying customer needs and desires.

Barwell.

Now that we have been introduced to some definitions of marketing and the marketing concept, remember the important elements contained as follows:

• Marketing focuses on the satisfaction of customer needs, wants and requirements.
• The philosophy of marketing needs to be owned by everyone from within the organization.
• Future needs have to be identified and anticipated.
• There is normally a focus upon profitability, especially in the corporate sector. However, as public sector organizations and not-for-profit organizations adopt the concept of marketing, this need not always be the case.
• More recent definitions recognize the influence of marketing upon society.

 As we can see in explanation above it takes multiple contacts using both sales and marketing to move the prospect from one level to the next. That is why it is import that we develop a process that combines both sales and marketing. This will enable us to reach prospects at all three levels; cold, warm, and hot enquiry. It's all about balance.

• Cold Lead Strategy - Send out a direct mailing or offer them a special promotion
• Warm Lead Strategy - Try a follow-up call, send out a sales letter, or schedule a special seminar or training session to get all of your warm leads together.

Once you've moved your prospect to the "warm" level it's time to proceed in closing the sale. This will be easier to do if you somehow engage the prospect. You can do this by conducting a one-on-one call, make a presentation, or present a proposal, estimate, or contract.

The achievement of corporate goals through meeting and exceeding customer needs better than the competition.

Jobber.

Implementation of the marketing concept [in the 1990's] requires attention to three basic elements of the marketing concept. These are: Customer orientation; An organization to implement a customer orientation; Long-range customer and societal welfare.

Cohen.

This is just to refresh our self which we all know but maximum time forget to implement in focused way and get confused when it comes for to work our action plan and strategy.

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

You must well aware how indian Judges and LAW makers, Treat the Indian Husbands worse than a animale in this country, if not read this News :

Punjab: Man wants to sell kidney to pay alimony: Times of India

CHANDIGARH: Unable to pay maintenance to his wife, a man has approached a court in Punjab to allow him to sell his one of his two kidneys so that he
could pay up.

The Ropar resident, who found the sum stipulated by the court way beyond his means, filed an application under section 125 of CrPC (order for maintenance of wives, children) in the court of the judicial magistrate on August 22, seeking permission to sell his kidney to pay Rs 8,000 as interim maintenance to his wife.

Narrating his ordeal in the application, he said the court had ordered him to pay his wife a monthly interim allowance of Rs 3,500 under CrPC and another interim maintenance of Rs 4,500 per month under the Domestic Violence Act. Denying any permanent means of livelihood, he said he found it difficult to sustain himself as his small monthly earnings made up for only Rs 3,600 per month.

Despite his meagre income, the man tried to pay maintenance to his wife regularly. But, under the circumstances, he is left with no option but to sell his body organs.

They will not show any humunity towards you , as per them , Indian Husbands are only a Free ATM machine. They will remind you the minimum wages act, but the same minimum wages act will not be applicable for wife at all.

Maintance in two differnet Law at a same time ( Crpc125 and Dv act) is total violation of Indian Constituion artilce 20, where it had clearly mentioned a person can’t be prosuced twice for the same offence, but who cares and when Judicery became blind of any country and violate the Nation’s own Constituions, even God also can’t help that Nations. Today a rapist, terroist get better Justice than Indian Husbands in this country.

Stop the Legal Terrorism by promoting Gender Biased LAW and Stop treating the Indian husbands as Free ATM Machine. First give your daughter/sister equal rights in your own home and make her established to take care herself, instead of treating the Husbands family as a Free ATM Machine.

Must read :
How to come out from the Finciancial Losses due to 498A/DV/CRPC 125?

A must to do activity : Whenever your so called wife demand and claim that she do not have any place to stay and give interim maintiance or residence etc, immediately , ask the concern auntority to Put her in “Goverment Shelter Home” , get the Booklet form the WCD ministry .

One simple appeal : “The court may put her in any of the recognised shelter house maintained by govt.( the list of shelter homes are endless) as a interim relife and husband are ready to provide all the expenses of the Shelter Home till the time the fianl decision of the Case not decided.”

Must Read : Self Reliance V/s Alimony by Indian Husband

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

PRESS RELEASE

Sub: Shimla Declaration of the National Conference of the Save Indian Family Movement.

Introduction:

Save Indian Family (SIF) movement is a non-funded, self-supported movement and has been formed with a multi-dimensional strategy to form at least 100 NGOs all over India working in the area of Men Welfare. On the 15^th of August 2009, 100 leaders from at least 25 NGOs representing 40,000 members participated in a 2 day National Conference in Shimla with a resolution of not to celebrate the Independence Day on August 15 this year.

Brief Background:

Leaders of the SIF movement feel that India is not an independent and a democratic country because men in general and married men in particular are being discriminated against to the point that their constitutional rights are being infringed and challenged especially those granted under Articles 14,15,20 and 21 of the Indian Constitution – the mother of all Indian laws.

1.      Article 21 of the Constitution provides for Right to Liberty, however today one unverified complaint of mental and/or physical harassment from the wife under Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code lands a man and his old parents, pregnant sister and minor children behind bars and his Right to Liberty is challenged as neither is any investigation being done to verify the tenacity of the complaint nor evidence is collected to corroborate the allegations.

2.      Article 20 of the Constitution says that no person shall be tried twice for the same offence, however, in marital matters the man and his family face multiple litigations/prosecutions/trials for the same alleged cause of action under Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code, Domestic Violence Act, Section 125 CrPC (maintenance), Section 24 of the Hindu marriage Act, Divorce case, child custody case etc. These multiple and parallel litigations for same alleged offence clearly and blatantly violates Article 20 of the Indian Constitution.

3.      Article 15 of the Constitution says that for the weaker sections of the society including women and children, the Govt. shall provide for Special Provisions to work for their welfare. Nowhere does it give the Govt. the liberty to formulate special, redundant and gender biased laws against the natural principles of Cardinal Justice. However, the laws mentioned above have been formulated and this practice is in violation of the Article 15 of the Constitution of India.

4.      Article 14 of the Constitution provides for Right to Equality before law. However, in Domestic Violence Act, firstly men are not provided protection against domestic abuse from their wives and in-laws and secondly the complainant woman’s sole testimony is considered as evidence of violation of protection order enough to convict the man. Both these practices do not place men and women at equal footing before the law as men face severe discrimination and their Constitutional right under Article 14 is challenged.

Under such a scenario, the men’s rights NGOs under the aegis of the SIF movement have lost the significance of celebrating Independence Day as they feel India is not a democratic country but a fascist country where arbitrary arresting a particular section of the society is considered as social service. SIF Leaders feel celebrating Independence in a country, where the Constitutional Rights of men are not respected, is like insulting freedom fighters like Bhagat Singh, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, Chandrashekhar Azad, etc.

Major Concerns:

Ø      123,000 innocent women (mothers, sisters and other female relatives of men) have been arrested in the four years period (2004 – 2007) whereas even the so called “Barbaric British Govt.” arrested only 40,000 women in 40 years.

Ø      Every year on an average 55200 married men are committing suicides with the number shooting to 57593 for 2007 vis-à-vis 30000 married women as per National Crime Records Bureau. Whose life is in more danger? Is the pain of a mother/sister less when she loses a son/brother?

Ø      98% of dowry harassment cases filed against men have been found to be false and it is the wife’s family who has been extorting money from the man by treating them as FREE ATM MACHINE by threatening them with false allegations and dragging them into frivolous and malicious prosecution.

Ø      In the five years span (2001 – 2006) an estimated 13,00,000 men have lost their jobs – a vast majority of them due to frivolous and arbitrary arrests – whereas 14,00,000 women have gained employment. Who needs empowerment, men or women?

Ø      Men pay 82% of the taxes and more tax than women at the same salary level.

Action Points:

Ø      SIF declares Section 498A of the IPC and Domestic Violence Act as Unconstitutional and demands a National Level Committee be setup which would include SIF Leaders as well to investigate into the constitutionality of these laws.

Ø      Institute National Commission for men to study men’s issues and give recommendations to the Govt.

Ø      Form Men’s Welfare Ministry to address men’s issues.

Ø      Replace the word “Husband” and “Wife” with “Spouse” and “Man” and “Woman” with “Person”.

We conclude the Shimla Conference with this.

Date: 16^th August 2009                                                                                  Thanks and Regards

Place: Shimla                                                                                             Public Relations Officer
Save Indian Family Foundation

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

The Telegraph - Calcutta (Kolkata) | 7days | It's a dad, dad, dad ...

Are you a single father? You can get in touch with kindred souls on social networking sites that are awash with single dads exchanging parenting tips, says Sonia Sarkar

FATHER DEAR: Single parent Kamal Bhalla makes sure that he gives quality time to his son Manik Mahesh Patel has a problem. His 16-year-old daughter wants to go to a late-night party with her friends, but the Mumbai-based widower isn’t sure if it is the right age for her to be staying out late. He doesn’t want to stop her either, for she has seldom been out after her mother’s death nine months ago. “Can someone suggest what I should do now,” he asks. Jay, a divorcé from Bangalore, proffers some advice. “I suggest you explain to your daughter why you don’t like her night out plans,” he tells Patel. “To make her feel better, you can take her out on a weekend.” Patel’s post, a week later, says: “Thanks for your advice. It did work. I took her to Mahabaleshwar. I am glad to see the smile back on her face.” Mahesh and Jay have never met but for the past six months they have been exchanging parenting tips on the social networking site Fropper.com. What makes them tick is that they are both single fathers. More and more such men are bonding on the Internet and setting up platforms that deal with parenting and other issues. “The best thing about being a part of this forum is to receive multiple solutions to one problem as each of the members has something new to offer,” says Patel, a member of the virtual club ‘Single Parents’ on Fropper.com. Life turned upside down for this 48-year-old banker after he lost his wife in an accident. “My daughter and I spent the most difficult times after my wife’s death. It was easy to fall into the ‘poor me, I’m just a single dad’ attitude, and even friends and relatives promoted the stereotype. Depression was sinking in and I had no clue about how to get over it,” he says. Then, while surfing the Internet one day Patel discovered the group on single fathers. “I joined in to explore. But now I am addicted to it. I am comfortable about discussing my problems with these strangers who might have faced similar problems, and seeking advice from them,” says Patel. Fropper.com is not the only online platform for single fathers. Others, such as singleparenting.com and indiaparenting.com, have thrown up similar forums. But the most popular social networking site among single fathers seems to be Facebook. It has more than 60 groups that serve as exclusive windows for single fathers. The names of the groups are self-explanatory: Single Fathers — A rare breed, Single Fathers — United, Responsible Single Fathers, Disgruntled Single Fathers, Single Fathers with Daughters, Single Fathers Deserve Respect, Single Fathers are True Soldiers. The message these groups want to convey to the rest of the world is loud and clear. Take the group called Single Fathers Deserve Respect. A post on its wall says: “There is a special group of fathers in this world who care greatly about their children despite what the other ‘party’ says. They show it in their actions and the way they raise their children to be responsible, caring, and loving human beings.”   Single fathers, some members believe, are discriminated against. “People feel sorry for single women, but what about the fathers? People should recognise that single fathers try just as hard,” says an agitated member of ‘Single Father’.   Chandigarh-based Vikas Garg, one of the 138 members of the group, agrees. “As a widower, I have felt that we are at a disadvantage against our female counterparts. The general perception is, men don’t bother about their children. The truth is men suffer equally and they don’t have the luxury to share their emotions openly when they feel low,” says Garg, who lost his wife in an accident three years ago.   His 13-year-old son Karan urged him to become a member of a virtual group to help him cope with loneliness. Garg paid heed to his tech-savvy son, and opened up a separate group for single fathers on Orkut called Single Parents…Let’s Live Good.   The online forums are not all about serious issues. Sometimes, the fathers take pot shots at themselves — describing how they burn the rice or humorously recall experiences such as learning how to change their toddlers’ soiled nappies.   Single fathers confess that they are not as efficient as the moms, but they do try to do their best. Kamal Bhalla, a Delhi-based divorcé who has launched a group called For Single Fathers by a Single Father on Facebook says it has been extremely difficult for him to juggle his work and home since his divorce three years ago.   “I prepare breakfast and lunch every morning before going to office. I finish my work early to ensure that I am back home by 7 in the evening. Then I help my son do his homework and also prepare dinner for the two of us. My social life is nil but my consolation is that my child is with me,” says the proud father of a 12-year-old black belt karate champion.   He adds, “My son has 100 per cent attendance in school and he has also won awards for the most well-behaved boy in school last year and the most co-operative boy this year. It just shows that a child can prosper equally under the guidance of a single father. And this is the message I want to send out to all single fathers through these forums.”   Bhalla was lucky that he didn’t have to fight much to win the custody of his son as his wife wanted to keep their elder daughter with her. But quite a few of the men who are divorced or are fighting a legal battle for a child’s custody use the platforms to help each other in their efforts. Facebook groups such as Single Fathers — United: Advocacy Organisations and Single Fathers — Fathers’ Awareness of Right and Custody Equity are actively mobilising campaigns for fathers involved in messy court cases. Support has come from all quarters for Delhi-based Pradeep Bansal, who recently lost custody of his 12-year-old son after fighting a case for nine years.   “Though I have consulted the top lawyers of the country I have also been discussing this issue with members of this group. I have been flooded with ideas about how to strengthen my case and I am hopeful all these suggestions would help as it’s about time that we acknowledge fathers as parents too,” says the businessman, who has joined one of the advocacy groups for single fathers.   The social groups, experts believe, help single fathers garner support as well as gain confidence. “Single fathers in our society are quite stigmatised, and in most cases, they are being considered to be the cause of the break up or separation. Life is equally tough for widowers,” says Professor Ashum Gupta, head of the department of psychology, Delhi University. “In a close-minded and an unwelcoming society like ours, men are extremely apprehensive about whom to approach in case of problems related to parenting.”   Divorces are on the rise, which account for the growing number of single fathers. According to data compiled by the family courts and crime records bureau, Delhi has seen 9,000 new cases registered every year since 2000, as opposed to the 1990s when only 1,000 new cases were registered every year. Calcutta has seen a 200 per cent rise in divorce cases over the last decade. “It is important for single fathers to socialise and express themselves through these channels. This will help them build up a strong network of single fathers and also gain social recognition as responsible single parents,” says Gupta. “This is also an assurance for them that they are not alone, and eventually it gives them the strength to fight against all odds.”   The members couldn’t agree more. As one forum member’s post puts it — “It’s the Dad’s way of saying: REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!” (Some names have been changed to protect identities)

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

Hard times for software guys: Mid day News

By: Chetan R   Date:  2009-07-17   Place:Bangalore

About 40 per cent of harassed husbands in the city are techies, study finds Techies earning fat salaries are the most harassed among Bangalore husbands. A study carried out by Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), a city based NGO, reveals that software professionals make up about 40 per cent of the total number of harassed husbands. Huge pay packets make techies soft targets, say members of the foundation who carried out the study over 15 months. "The study is shocking," said Panduranga Katti, president of SIFF. "Software professionals getting huge benefits from companies is a known fact and wives are misusing this every day. In most cases, wives demand money and threaten to complain to the police." The share SIFF, which works to empower harassed husbands through its website and branches across the nation, studied about 1,100 cases in Bangalore from January 2008 to April 2009.   After the techies, came men with private businesses. They constituted 11.7 per cent of the cases. Husbands from administration and the military made up about 10 per cent of the cases. Legal help for hassled hubbies Men in government service, heavy engineering and management, and the finance sector made up 7.8, 7 and 6.3 per cent of the total cases respectively. The study included professionals, who approached the NGO through the internet. While 73 per cent of the cases approached SIFF through its website http://www.indianfamily.org/, the rest approached them through friends. Help SIFF plans to empower harassed husbands by providing them with legal support based on court judgments. "Besides legal help, we will empower husbands through sessions of basic strategies and tactics. This will be done step by step," said Virag Dhulia, member, SIFF. What women want This is how wives harass husbands, according to the study: >>Demanding money and threatening to file police complaints >>Wanting parents to be sent away from the house >>Forcing the husband to buy property >>Adultery

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

By: Kranti Vibhute   Date:  2009-06-21   Place:Mumbai

Two-month-old Zoya gets dragged into a dowry harassment case filed by her father's first wife. Legal experts, child rights activists react in shock at her having to get anticipatory bail to avoid arrest In a case straight out of Ripley's Believe It Or Not, the Mumbai Sessions court last Wednesday (June 17, 2009) granted anticipatory bail for what must have been their youngest applicant ever a two-month-old baby: Zoya aka Mehak Shamshuddin Khan. Lucky for her, or Zoya could have ended up behind bars. Mother Reshma Khan of two-month-old baby Zoya said the family was called for an inquiry to Nehru Nagar police station. She sat there with the baby in her arms for 10 hours without reprieve, from 1 pm till 10 pm. She even had to feed her baby in front of the police and visitors Zoya, who has got bail on a surety amount of Rs 10,000, is a member of the Khan family from Kurla who have been accused by Shakila Khan (27) in a dowry harassment case and for a criminal breach of trust. The sessions judge S N Sardesai in his order granted bail for seven of the eight applicants who applied for the anticipatory bail. Shakila lodged a complaint against Zoya's father and her divorced spouse Shamsuddin Khan at the Nehru Nagar police station and named the entire family in her letter, including Zoya, her biological mother (Shamsuddin's second wife), a neighbour and four relatives. Shakila accused them of harassing and demanding dowry of Rs one lakh and torturing her, the police said. Khan's lawyers Anil Bhole and Lata Vhotkar said the police initially thought that the matter would be resolved between both parties amicably. "However, when Shakila submitted a complaint letter against Shamsuddin and his family in which his second wife Reshma's baby was also mentioned, he had to rush for anticipatory bail for all his family members," said Bhole. The police registered the case on Wednesday evening against Khan and his family members, acting on Shakila's complaint letter submitted earlier. "Shakila and Shamsuddin divorced two years ago and he has since remarried and had Zoya with his second wife," said Nasim Bano Khan, Shamsuddin's mother. The entire family, apart from Shamsuddin, was summoned to the Nehru Nagar police station on Friday for questioning. "We were at the police station from 1 pm to 10 pm. Who would have looked after my baby while we were being questioned by the policemen? Our baby is so small, so I have to still bring her along every time," said a distraught Reshma.

'It's unheard of. The people who mentioned the baby in the complaint must be crazy!' 
Ram Jethmalani, senior criminal lawyer

'This is hilarious and unheard of.' 
Rohini Salian, ex-chief public prosecutor

'I can't believe my ears, it's bizarre!'
Mohammed Afzal, activist

'It's amazing that such an order could be passed for a baby.'
Girija Vyas, chairperson, National Commission for Women

'I can't believe my ears'

Zoya's case has stirred up a strong response. Former law minister and senior counsel Ram Jethmalani said that it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard of. "It's probably unheard of even in any other part of the world where a two-month-old baby has to apply for bail. The people who mentioned the baby in the complaint must be crazy!" Similar sentiments were echoed by former senior counsel Rohini Salian, "This is a hilarious and unheard-of episode," she said.

Others were more cutting. Criminal lawyer Dinesh Tiwari said that apart from being an unprecedented case, it was a failure on the part of the police and the judicial process. "There should have been some verification of the applicant. How can a complaint letter naming a two-month-old baby be blindly considered in this manner?" asked Tiwari. Consumer activist Mohammed Afzal said the case highlighted the need for proper judicial guidelines. "I can't believe my ears, it's absolutely bizarre," he said.

Others chalked it up to the lack of awareness. "It's really a laughing matter, but it highlights the ignorance that exists amongst the police and judicial force. It's amazing that such an order could be passed for a baby," said Dr Girija Vyas, chairperson, National Commission for Women.

"The commission will look into this particular case to give us insights into the issues of child jurisprudence, which we are currently examining," said Dr Shanta Sinha, chairperson, National Commission for Protection of Child Rights (NCPCR).

Sociologist Nandini Sardesai said that the move was probably an attempt on the victim's part to get her case noticed.

"To begin with, it's strange that dowry is an issue in a Muslim family, but it reflects the pernicious carryover of a Hindu custom to other communities for their own benefit. Cases of dowry harassment often go unnoticed and this inclusion of the baby was probably to gain some attention and to sensationalise her case.

As for the police, it's no surprise that they often don't know the legalities since they're either apathetic or ignorant."

The case so far
Police have filed a case against Shamshuddin Khan (divorced husband of Shakila), his second wife, daughter, mother, brother, two sisters and one neighbour for dowry harassment (section 498), criminal breach of trust (section 406) and acts done by several persons in furtherance of common intention (section 34). Shamsuddin's bail application was rejected and he was arrested by the Nehru Nagar police station on Saturday.

Children faultless until seven
"The child is presumed to be innocent until the age of seven and it's presumed that until then the child does not understand the difference between good or bad, crime or no crime and there is no Mensrea (intention to commit an offence is absent). Thus the child cannot be punished nor can any case be registered against it. Once the child is seven or above, he is a juvenile and can be tried under the Juvenile Offenders Act by the juvenile courts. In this case since the baby in question is only two months, there is no need for seeking anticipatory bail, nor for the court to grant such bail," explains ex-mayor of Mumbai and advocate Nirmala Samant Prabhavalkar.

For nearly nine hours, Zoya was in her mother's arms while police officials made inquires on Friday. "It was embarrassing to feed my baby in front of the police and while other visitors moved around us. While my statement was being recorded, Zoya continuously cried. That irritated the policemen, but they didn't understand how hard it was for me to take care of my two-month-baby and answer their questions," said Reshma.

When Prakash Kale, senior police inspector of Nehru Nagar station, was asked why the baby was dragged into the matter, he rubbished the claim, saying, "No complaint has been filed against the baby, but since her name was mentioned by the complainant (Shakila) in her letter, the entire family applied for anticipatory bail."

---

For more reference :

After President of India , now Chief Justice of India admits to Misuse of Dowry Law.

Indian Husbands End thier life:It Was A Crime That I Was Born As Man ?

Court orders FIR against Wife, her Parents for Giving Dowry

Details of Dowry Law Cases for the year 2007 (Source - NCRB)

All India Protest On Misuse Of Dowry law (IPC 498A) and DV Act '2005

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

The double-edged rape-ier: DNA News

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

Renuka loss is our gain : Swrarup Sarkar in Mid-day

Ex-Union minister Renuka Chaudhary's election defeat is being celebrated by a group of men who have been demanding the abolition of the controversial Domestic Violence Act. They are happy that with Chaudhury's ouster as the women and child development minister, the act may be done away with..

Former Union minister Renuka Chaudhary lost the Lok Sabha elections from Khammam constituency in Andhra Pradesh.
 
The winner, Nama Nageshwara Rao of the Telugu Desam Party, is celebrating. But Swarup Sarkar of Delhi is celebrating more.

The law will stay: Renuka Chaudhary

The reason: Sarkar is the Delhi coordinator of Save Family Foundation (SFF), a group that has been demanding the abolition of the controversial Domestic Violence Act (DV Act) that they allege is pro-women and is often abused in cases of marital discord.

The group holds Chaudhary responsible for introducing and supporting the DV Act and Section 498-A of the Indian Penal Code (IPC).

"Renuka is among the people who introduced the draconian Section 498-A of IPC and the Domestic Violence Act. These laws have become a tool to harass married men by giving unlimited benefits to wives," said Sarkar.

The SFF is celebrating the former woman and child development minister's defeat with crackers, sweets and congratulatory messages. "I received almost 50-60 messages on the day of counting.

People from all over the country were celebrating Renuka Chaudhary's loss. Later on, we forwarded the congratulatory emails to the official mail address of the Women and Child Development Ministry," said Sarkar.

Sarkar and SFF have been running a campaign against the DV Act and Section 498-A, demanding the creation of a Men Welfare Ministry on the lines of the one for women.

"Every year, lakhs of men throughout the country lose their reputation, job and almost everything because their wives lodge complaints against them under these laws.
 
Not just the men but their mothers, sisters and other family members are harassed under false complaints of dowry and ill treatment by in-laws," said Sarkar.
 
SFF and Sarkar had met Chaudhary before the elections regarding their demands but after being denied any help, the group started a campaign against the former minister through emails, SMSes and blogs.

The campaign also targeted Congress leader Margaret Alva, who the SFF claims, was the brain behind Section 498-A when it was introduced in 1983.

MiD DAY tried contacting both Chaudhary and Alva for their reactions. While Alva was not available on her landline phone numbers, Renuka in an irritated tone accepted that she knew about SFF.

"I know about their celebrations. It's a democratic country and let him celebrate. But I don't think it is worth celebrating," Chaudhary said.

When asked about the SFF's demand to abolish the DV Act and amend Section 498-A, she came up with a big no.

"The law cannot be changed. It is there to save women who are harassed by their in-laws. I don't think there is any strength in their demand," Chaudhary said.

What the laws say

Section 498-A, IPC, provides wives with the right to move court against any act of cruelty for dowry.

The DV Act covers not only wives and live-in-partners, but also sisters, mothers, mothers-in-law or any other female relative living with a violent man, who can be jailed for a year for beating, threatening and even shouting at them.

While the DV Act provides yet another provision for a woman with ulterior motives to initiate criminal proceedings against the husband, a major loophole in the Act is its Section 14(5).

The section reads that the respondents shall not be allowed to plead any counter justification for the alleged act of domestic violence, a clear flouting of Human Rights.

For more reference You must read :

• Bow down before your wife: SC tells husbands

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.

• Review Gender Bias LAW

Disclimer :This is totally writer personnel Views only. You may have different opinion. The name and place changed to protect the Persons Identity.